Tag: attention

We need to connect with one another more often

Keywords: current events , covid 19 , friendship , loneliness , pandemic

research indicates even when we think we don’t want strangers to say hello or interact with us, we are happier when they do. It should no longer be taboo to talk to people on elevators and subways or to sit in the front seat on Lyft rides. You should pay close attention to body language and personal boundaries as you approach someone new, but you shouldn’t avoid eye contact at all cost. Even brief eye contact can make people feel more connected and included.

https://jettwriter.wordpress.com/2020/07/16/lets-tackle-loneliness-one-friendship-at-a-time

A bid for connection is an action that tries to get your attention and indicates a desire for connection

The three ways that people respond to a bid for connection are:

  1. Turn Away
    – Shrug and ignore
    – Change the subject
    – Look at them for a moment, and then carry on with what you were doing
    – Respond apathetically
    – Quietly leave the room
  2. Turn Against
    – “What’s wrong with you?!”
    – “Why are you always so frustrated about everything!?”
    – “Can’t you tell I’m busy?! I do all the work around here. What do you ever do?!”
    – “That’s annoying, could you stop!?”
    – “If you’re going to act annoyed, could you do it somewhere else!?”
  3. Turn Towards
    – “What can I do to help you?”
    – “Why don’t I rub your feet while you tell me about your day.”
    – “I am so sorry that you have to deal with … that must be so awful. ”
    – “That’s hilarious! I wish I could have been there too!”
    – “Is something the matter?” or “Is something bothering you?”
    – “What’s on your mind? Would you like to talk about it?”

https://intimacypact.wordpress.com/2020/02/22/recognizing-responding-to-bids-for-connection